Difficult decisions
When I was pregnant I decided that Albert would be breastfed. It is after all, the best you can do for your baby.
Today, two and a bit weeks in and I’m giving up. Not doing it without a lot of thought and work though. This has not been an easy decision to make.
Firstly there’s the poo issue. He should be pooing. Ok, so he had one last Friday night/Saturday morn and then he had another one today, but it’s not easy to be told that he’s not feeding enough to actually create some poo in his system. Not easy at all.
Secondly, we went to see a lactation consultant on Tuesday to find out how he is feeding and how it could be better. A few good tips later and I think he’s feeding better now - more seems to be being swallowed and he seems to be getting more in, however with the amount of feeds that he is now having shoved down his throat, my nipples have never felt worse. They are on absolute fire. And not in that good way.
Thirdly, he is settling some times and then other feeds have him feeding for way too long and not settling at all, and that is incredibly wearing. My whole body has gone into exhaustion mode. I’m barely awake in the morning, and dead on my feet at night. The in between moments, well, they are anyone’s guess.
I’ve seen a maternal health nurse, spoken with my midwife and have been supported the whole way by my wonderful partner. The decision I have come to hasn’t been easy and hasn’t been without guilt, but in the end as long as Albert is happy and fed well, we are happy. And I reckon that’s the most important result.